


What Makes Us Who We Are

by ReidFan



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-10 10:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 9,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6980590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReidFan/pseuds/ReidFan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A law enforcement recruiting seminar takes Hotch, Garcia and newlywed Reid to Vegas. Reid's intention to show his new wife his hometown is derailed by a nightmare from his past returned.</p><p>This entry in my Spencer and Melissa series takes place between story #4 (A New Life) and #5 (And Then They Were Five</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

What Makes Us Who We Are

(CM, PG13, Reid/OC (Melissa Martin Reid)

 

 _Karma, when properly understood, is just the mechanics through which consciousness manifests._ -Deepak Chopra

 

 _I guess one of the ways that karma works is that it finds out what you are most afraid of and then makes that happen eventually_. -Cheech Marin

 

 _What we have done, the result of that comes to us whenever it comes, either today, tomorrow, hundred years later, hundred lives later, whatever, whatever. And so, it's our own karma. That is why that philosophy in every religion: Killing is sin. Killing is sin in every religion_. -Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

 

 

 

She reeled backwards as his open hand made contact with her face again, slamming her head on the wall behind her before she fell to the floor. Her hands moved to cover her face as she cowered before the angry agent.

 

“Miserable bitch,” he fumed, aiming a kick at her midsection. She moved as his foot made contact with her body, causing him to miss his intended target and instead, hit her squarely in the crotch. Groaning in agony, she curled into a fetal position. Her groan became an acute scream as he grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked her head back, bending down so he could make eye contact.

 

He opened his mouth to speak but before could say a word her hand reached out and touched his face.

 

“I’m so sorry, Spencer. You have no idea just how sorry I am.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

And then she woke up, bathed in sweat as the recurring nightmare of her dreams had interrupted any semblance of slumber for the fifth consecutive night. Resigning herself to the knowledge that she’d be unable to get back to sleep yet again, she got up and made her way into the kitchen to make a cup of herbal tea. 

 

_______________

 

“He’s just too cute for words, isn’t he, Penelope?” Melissa Reid asked as she and her friend waved goodbye to Savannah Morgan, standing on her front porch with baby Hank Spencer in her arms. Penelope Garcia started her car, checked the mirrors, and then took a second to wave at mother and son before steering out into the sparse traffic on the road.

 

“Yours will be too!” she foretold, dropping down the hand that had been waving at the Morgans to softly pat the belly of her companion.

 

Melissa smiled as she nodded in emphatic agreement. “Baby Reid will be cute. And smart like Daddy,” she affirmed.

 

“Mom’s pretty smart too,” Penelope pointed out.

 

“Have to be to keep up with Spence,” Melissa laughed. “Thanks so much for bringing me along to visit them, Pen. Hank Spencer is so adorable; he actually reminds me just how much fun a baby can be. Anna was a doll. But this one,” she paused and ran her own hand protectively over the slight bulge in her abdomen, “this one will actually have a Daddy right from day one.” 

 

“The Daddy of all Daddies,” Penelope enthused. “Spencer is going to be the most fabulous father ever.”

 

_____________________________________________________

 

“I really appreciate you agreeing to do this, Reid,” Aaron Hotchner told the younger man as they walked through the bullpen towards Hotch’s office. “I owe Mateo a couple favours, this is really helping me out.” Their boss, Section Chief Mateo Cruz had requested Hotchner and at least one subordinate attend a law enforcement recruitment seminar in Las Vegas. Knowing that Special Agent Spencer Reid hailed from Vegas, Hotchner had decided to ask Reid if he’d like to go along. 

 

“Cruz has authorised the jet for the trip, Reid. I’m thinking we’ll have plenty of downtime. You could visit your mother. And,” he paused briefly before adding, “If she’s up to the traveling, you could bring along the new Mrs. Reid too. Give you some time together since the rest of the team is going to be off.” He gave Reid a slight smile and continued, “I’ll remember this when it’s time, and give you some extra time off when your baby arrives.”

 

Reid weighed this over in his mind as Hotch motioned him through then closed his office door and the two men sat down by his desk to go over the plans for the seminar. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

She bent down to pick the newspaper up off the floor then put her key into the lock and opened her apartment door. It had been a long day, after another sleepless night. Tossing her purse and the newspaper on the counter in her kitchen, she let out a long sigh. She retrieved a glass from the cupboard and got a drink of water as she revisited the day’s events.

First was an early morning trip to the cemetery to visit the grave of her niece Mandy. It had only been a few months since the young teen had taken her life after being tormented by bullies at school. That brought back her own horrible memories. Tears flowed as she remembered that boy begging, pleading for them to help that awful day all those years ago. And how the entire football team had stood by and watched him tremble, sobbing and imploring her to help him. Pleas that went unheeded. Fresh waves of shame flooded through her again as she recalled her part in his torment, and worse, her inaction to help him. This particular memory had plagued her for years, but since the death of her niece, it had become an almost daily invasion, permeating her peace and marking every thought with the stain of dishonour. She would never forget his face, the humiliation and distress in his eyes, the defeated slump of his posture. And she knew she could never, ever hope to make things right for him. 

She finished the water and set the empty glass down on the counter. The appointment at the lawyer’s office had gone well enough. Her will was complete, her affairs in order, and she had secured the lawyer’s help in trying to find him; the request for her legacy set in motion. 

She’d had to postpone visiting her only brother Kevin, who was incarcerated, serving life for ending the lives of two of his daughter’s tormentors. And his wife, her sister-in-law Victoria had lost everything, including her own will to live; to look after herself as a result. Victoria lived at Bennington’s, and hadn’t been up to receiving visitors today. 

Her thoughts wandered to the doctor’s appointment that afternoon. Nothing new, nothing had changed, no advancement in the symptoms, no raised blood pressure, no elevated pulse rate. Although there were the headaches. And the nightmares. But she deserved those, and didn’t tell the doctor about them. She’d outright lied to him because he’d asked if she was having headaches. But those were her karma. Her come-uppance. Her retribution. And still it wasn’t enough, she thought.

Almost absently, she picked up her Las Vegas Review-Journal. Flipping through it, she made note of a relevant road closure and smiled at tomorrow’s weather report. Perhaps she’d make the trip to the prison to visit Kevin tomorrow. Or to Bennington’s if Victoria was up to it. Turning the page, she saw that Cirque de Soleil was playing at the Bellagio according to one ad, and then she grew wide-eyed as another ad caught her attention.


	4. Chapter 4

The foursome climbed aboard the jet, Aaron Hotchner in the lead, toting one suitcase and his briefcase. Right behind him was Penelope Garcia, laptop bag and oversize purse slapping against her and oversize pink luggage clanking up the stairs. Melissa Reid had her purse and a small camera bag and kept turning to her trailing husband asking if she could help (“No! I’ve got it!”) with their two cases and his ever present messenger bag. Once aboard, she stepped aside and let Spencer ahead of her. He stowed away the suitcases, helped Garcia deal with hers and turned back to help Melissa to her seat only to find her by the open door, chatting on her phone.

 

“Again, thank you so much JJ, for taking on Anna for us. And Muttli.”

 

“And Sergio!” Penelope reminded, calling back over her shoulder.

 

“And Sergio, Pen says,” Melissa repeated. She laughed at whatever JJ had said and they concluded their call.

 

She put the cellphone back in her purse and took Spencer’s hand as he led her to the galley end of the jet. He showed her where she could get a drink from the refrigerator and reminded her again (unnecessarily, she was well aware) about the evils of coffee for a pregnant woman, before heading to a pair of seats facing the front of the plane. She’d experienced motion sickness on a previous trip with Spencer, and the ever solicitous and attentive husband that he was; he made sure she was completely comfortable.

 

“Can I sit here with you guys or do you want some alone time?” Garcia asked, indicating the seats facing the Reids. 

 

“Please,” Melissa invited, indicating the seat directly across from her. Penelope plopped down into the seat and then dropped her laptop into the seat next to her. She rifled through her purse, found the gum she was looking for and after taking a few pieces she, passed the package around to the others.

 

“It helps with the take off, you know, the ears, the popping,” she explained. They chatted amiably for about half an hour after the uneventful takeoff, then Melissa asked if they’d mind if she drifted off to sleep for a while.

 

“I’m so tired all the time,” she told them, “I thought that was just a first trimester thing.”

 

Spencer launched into a long observation about the physiological changes a pregnant woman undergoes and after about a minute, Melissa leaned over and kissed him, effectively shutting him up instantly.

 

        “ _That’s_ how it’s done!” Garcia marveled, laughing. The kiss broken off, Melissa snuggled into her husband’s shoulder and closed her eyes to sleep. Hotchner moved from the back of the plane where he’d been working and sat down in the long seat across the aisle from them, spreading out some other papers from his briefcase. Immediately, Garcia pulled her laptop from its carrying case. She had a Power Point presentation about the BAU ready and let Hotchner and Reid watch it then asked if they wanted another more general presentation made up as well, touching on aspects of more basic law enforcement procedures. 

 

        The three of them worked for about an hour before Garcia proclaimed it was time for lunch and asked Reid to wake Melissa.

 

      “That baby needs some nourishment, Genius Boy,” she informed him, “Of course, maybe the enticing smell of food will wake up the lovely Mrs. Reid.”

 

      Garcia rose from her seat and made her way back to the galley, returning momentarily with a huge tray, which she set on the table between them.

 

      “I asked them to make sure they sent sandwiches and fruit and some goodies for lunch. It’s a long flight to Vegas.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

      “It’s too late to be getting any work done tonight,” Hotchner told the others as they climbed out of the SUV in front of their hotel. They checked in at the front desk and Hotch waved them away, telling them to go unpack and rest and meet him at the hotel restaurant for a late dinner at 7 pm.

 

      Garcia wasted no time taking him up on it and headed to the elevator bay immediately. Hotchner went to find the Law Enforcement seminar people. Spencer and Melissa stopped at the hotel gift shop to pick up a small gift for Anna. Given her love of animals, Spencer chose a little dog wearing a Las Vegas bandanna and asked the clerk if they sold milk or yogurt and was told he could order that from the onsite restaurant and have it delivered to their room. Melissa wanted to increase the amount of dairy she consumed on a daily basis and Spencer wanted to make sure that happened. He bought a newspaper, a crossword puzzle book and souvenir Las Vegas tumblers for his godsons and for Anna as well as the stuffed dog and then they made their way up to their room where Melissa decided to take a short nap. 

 

      Spencer arranged her pillows and blankets about her comfortably then made a call to the restaurant and ordered yogurt, milk and some Brie cheese and saltines, to be delivered in about an hour, as he didn’t want his wife’s nap disturbed.

 

      He padded over to the little table where a coffeemaker was set up. It was a much simpler machine than the one Melissa had at home and he managed to make himself a mugful, which he took over to the desk to drink while reading the newspaper.

 

     Later, the group had an abbreviated dinner together then retired to their rooms for the night.

 

 

      

     She parked her car in the lot then made her way through the hotel lobby to the front desk. There, she enquired about the law enforcement seminar mentioned in the newspaper ad, and discovered it was to be held over the next two days. The desk clerk handed her several pamphlets and she smiled and thanked him and took a seat in an oversize chair in the lobby siting area to peruse the pamphlets. She deliberately waited until the clerk left the desk, perhaps for his break, and approached his replacement some time later. 

 

     “I’m here to meet an old friend, I was wondering if you could tell me what room Spencer Reid is in?” 

 


	6. Chapter 6

     The clerk smiled at her and checked his computer, then gave her the number.

 

     “Is there a phone I can call there from?” 

 

    “There’s a house phone on that table over there,” the clerk indicated a small table in the sitting area in which she’d just been waiting.

 

     “Thank you,” she said and made her way back to the seat. She picked up the phone and pretended to make a call, timing it so that she still appeared to be talking when the first clerk returned to his duties at the front desk. Waiting until he was busy with another guest, she quickly hung up the phone and made her way to the elevator bay.

 

 

     He held her in his arms and kissed her thoroughly before finally breaking it off. 

 

     “I am running late, I really need to go,” he told her, quickly swigging down the last of his coffee. 

 

     “My favourite distraction,” she teased.

 

     “Mine too, and I’ll be back for more _distraction,_ ” he emphasised the word and was rewarded with a faux coy smile, “after we’re finished our presentation. Should be around four.”

 

     Her arms snaked around his neck again and her lips planted a series of tiny kisses along his jawline before she spoke in an elevated whisper, “I’m going to spend the time shopping, I think. I saw a Victoria’s Secret down the street.”

 

     His eyes widened a little at that prospect, he kissed her quickly once more and said, “I can’t wait to see _that_ distraction! Have fun shopping, love you, gotta go!” before squeezing her hand and disappearing out the door.

 

     She shut the door behind him and set about tidying the room. About thirty seconds into the job, she remembered it was a hotel room and not her responsibility to clean up and laughed at herself. By this point, she’d already collected all their room service breakfast dishes and returned them to their tray. She stooped over to pick up clothes Spencer had dropped on the floor and smiled at that memory as she corrected herself. His clothes, yes. But he wasn’t the one who’d left them on the floor. That was her doing; she’d loosened his tie, undone his shirt, and unbuckled his pants. She’d stripped his shirt and his pants from his body. She’d led him over to the bed…. she’d better stop that train of thought; she admonished herself with a laugh.

 

    Melissa stepped into the bathroom and stripped off the sleepwear she was still wearing. He’d liked this camisole set. She hoped to find another like it, perhaps in a different colour and a slightly larger size, as she ran her hand across her blooming belly, which was now stretching the set’s panty to its very limit. Baby Reid was just past three months along but because Melissa was petite in stature she felt like she was showing as though she was already seven months along. Her skin glowed, her hair glowed, and her eyes glowed: Melissa glowed with happiness. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and sighed contentedly.

 

     “Purple, I want to find a purple one,” she decided as she stepped into the shower.    

 

 

     He raced into the boardroom Hotchner had indicated they’d be using for their panel and found Garcia and Hotch were already in the process of setting up.

 

     “Sorry. Sorry I’m late, Melissa—“

 

     “Is she all right?” both Garcia and Hotch asked in alarm.

 

     Reid chewed his lip and cast his eyes downward for the briefest moment before replying, “What? Melissa’s fine. It’s just hard to leave her sometimes, you know,” he trailed off and blushed at the knowing smiles on the faces of both Hotch and Garcia.

 

     “She’s got a whole city to explore if she’s so inclined, Reid,” Hotch offered.

 

     “Shopping,” Garcia opined. Reid laughed and nodded his head.

 

   “That’s what she said. Actually, if they’re both still up to it, Melissa wanted us to go visit my mom later today. We’ll probably end up having dinner with her somewhere near Bennington’s if that’s okay.”

 

    “Absolutely,” Hotch agreed, then turned his attention to the contents of a bankers’ box. “Let’s get set up, our first panel’s at 11,” he directed.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

     “Okay, honey, put Henry’s mommy back on the phone, okay? Love you bunches, Sweet Pea, daddy and I will be home in a couple of days,” Melissa spoke into her cellphone. She waited for a moment while Anna apparently complied with her request to put JJ back on the phone and absently ran her hand over her abdomen again. Catching herself in the act, she smiled, thinking everyone was right; she did do that constantly! Spencer had mentioned it. JJ, Garcia and even Anna had all noticed it.

 

    The sound of JJ’s voice got her attention.

 

     “She’s being a doll, Melissa. Anna is so good. And she helps with the baby, it’s amazing.”

 

     “Thanks. I’m glad she’s behaving for you. I was a little worried about her being away from us.”

 

     “No worries! Honest, every once in a while there’s a wistful look in her face like she’s missing you or Spence, but then Henry, bless his heart, he distracts her. And Muttli. She can’t get enough of him, you know. Anyway, how’s it going? How’s the shopping? And how’s the time away with Spence?”

 

    “It’s going great, haven’t been shopping yet and he’d kill me if he knew I was discussing this with you, but the time away has been fabulous. It’s funny, JJ, I thought he’d pretty much read everything ever written about pregnancy and childbirth.” She paused to take a breath and heard JJ’s snicker. “I had to highlight a couple of chapters in two of his books though. He was honestly concerned that, you know, he’d hurt the baby if we, you know,” Melissa paused significantly, knowing that JJ would infer what she meant.

 

     “Will was the same, Melissa. I think it’s part of their male protective psyche thing. But I’m guessing he’s over that now?” she laughed knowingly.

 

    “And how,” Melissa stated. “Oh God, don’t say anything to him at work though, okay?”

 

    “Lips are sealed,” JJ promised through giggles. 

 

   “Sounds like you guys are at the park,” Melissa changed the subject.

 

   “Yeah, We are. Who can swing higher? Who can climb faster? And who wants a cookie?” JJ recounted, “I’m still gonna hafta give Spence crap for that. Those cookies are for Michael.”

 

    They both laughed, and Melissa pointed out “I thank God every day for Michael’s need for those cookies. It’s thanks to him, really, that I met and fell in love with Spence.”

 

    “A matchmaker at age eight months. Imagine that,” JJ laughed and abruptly stopped. “Wow, Melissa, I’m sorry I brought up the subject of that day. It must bring back some pretty harrowing memories,” she said softly.

 

    “It’s okay, JJ. He’s recovered, we’re all good, if it weren’t for that day we’d never have met and married. There’s a reason for bad things happening. It helps us grow, shapes us, and it’s what makes us who we are. Geez, listen to me, now I’m a philosopher,” she paused for a moment as they both chuckled at her self-deprecation. “Really, JJ, bad memories are almost as important as good ones. Spence and I have had several conversations about memories, good and bad, from our pasts. It helps to understand one another better.”

 

    A moment passed as JJ surveyed the playground; the three children were all still happily playing in the sandbox, the puppy toddling around between them. Melissa found herself rubbing her tummy again and finally spoke.

 

    “Okay, enough with the Sophocles act, thanks for letting me talk to Anna, and thanks again for, well, everything, JJ. You even took in a not quite house-trained puppy! I should let you get back to the kids.”

 

    “Have a great time, and don’t worry! Anna’s fine. Muttli’s fine. Great name for a dog, by the way. Spend the time with Spence. Bye.” And she hung up before Melissa could retort.

 

    She picked up the last of Spencer’s errant clothes and tucked them away into the laundry bag then collected her purse and sat down to put on her shoes. The sound of knocking at the door startled her and she wondered whether Spencer had returned because he’d forgotten something. She dismissed that almost immediately, Spencer didn’t forget things. Putting her eye up to the peephole, she saw a woman she didn’t recognise. Although she couldn’t quite see what the woman was wearing, she assumed it was probably Housekeeping and opened the door cautiously.

 

     It certainly wasn’t Housekeeping. It was a fortyish woman, whose clothes and hair and makeup spoke of some wealth but whose face bore the image of someone who had recently suffered a tremendous ordeal. Although Melissa’s guard was always up, she softened slightly at the vision before her. The woman’s eyes noticed the hand across Melissa’s belly, the wedding ring on her finger and lifted her eyes to meet Melissa’s.

 

    “I’m looking for Spencer. Spencer Reid,” the woman offered by way of explanation. “We went to school at the same time here in Vegas.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

Melissa waited for more information.

 

    “My name is Alexa. Alexa Lisbon. Spencer was in high school—“

 

     Melissa gasped at the name. Her brain processed the information quickly and she interrupted Ms. Lisbon.

 

     “I _know_ who you are!” Fury raged inside her and she found herself unable to quell it. Ms. Lisbon took a step, intending to enter the room and Melissa reacted, almost instinctively, slapping her full across the face and shoving her back out into the hall. 

 

     “ _You miserable bitch!”_ she seethed, and then lowered her voice, she warned, “Stay away from me! And my husband!” as she slammed the door and leaned against it from the inside, breathing deeply to calm herself.

 

 

 

     Alexa picked herself up off the floor and brushed away the imaginary dirt on her slacks. She collected her purse and her cellphone, which had somehow managed to escape her handbag and stepped towards the closed door.

 

    “I’m so sorry Spencer. You have no idea how sorry I am,” she apologised to the door and made her way back down the elevator to the lobby level. After a brief search, she found the law enforcement seminar, and specifically the BAU panel and settled into a seat in the back of the room to listen to the presentation. And more specifically, to see Spencer Reid.

 

     He was older now, more polished, more confident and even more knowledgeable than he’d been back in high school, judging by the way he fielded questions from the seminar attendees. She listened with rapt attention as he, and his supervisor spoke about many of the cases they’d solved. The older man explained profiling and how they analysed one’s behaviour to determine not only who committed a crime but why. As he spoke, her eyes diverted repeatedly to Reid, she couldn’t get over how different he was from the skinny, trembling weakling he’d been. Someone in the audience asked about their guns and Reid answered.

 

     “We do carry guns, yes. But sometimes, sometimes you can bring the situation to a successful end without resorting to loss of life through gunfire.” He paused. Reid had always been particularly proud of being able to diffuse the Owen Savage situation without using his weapon, but the ensuing reprimand from Hotchner had tempered that pride of accomplishment, and at this moment, he wasn’t sure he should bring up this particular incident as an example. He looked to Hotchner and mouthed ‘Owen Savage?’ Hotchner raised his eyebrows in a returned unspoken question and Reid nodded ever so slightly in response. 

 

     Hotchner stepped forward. “Sometimes we do things a little,” he took a second to find the right word, “unconventionally. Part of being a profiler, a big part, is our ability to think on our feet. Quickly. And our ability to empathise. That’s the one thing the unsub—the bad guy—often cannot do. Dr. Reid here has, by virtue of his own past experiences, excelled at this and ended a number of situations successfully because of his ability to empathise.” He took a few steps forward and related the Owen Savage case, in capsulated form and without mentioning names to the audience finishing with,

 

    “And because of Dr. Reid’s own experiences with bullies, he managed to get into the unsub’s head and eventually bring about a positive resolution without firing a shot.”

 

    There was a round of applause and a chorus of assorted cheers from the audience then Hotchner indicated their morning panel was done. He announced they would return at 130 pm for an afternoon session and the assembled group started to disburse. Alexa waited in her seat until almost everyone but the BAU members had left, then she approached the trio. Garcia was just putting her laptop back into its case and Hotchner shook the hand of one last straggler then turned his attention back to where Garcia and Reid stood before Alexa.

 

     “So it’s Doctor Reid is it?” she smiled. “You’ve done well.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

    He looked questioningly at her, something about her was familiar but he didn’t recognise her. Garcia shouldered the bag containing her laptop and was about to ask about lunch, Hotchner decided an introduction might help.

 

     “Yes, he’s Doctor Reid, but he’s also a Supervisory Special Agent. I’m SSA Hotchner, and this is our technical analyst, Penelope Garcia. And you apparently already know Dr. Reid?”

 

     “We were in high school at the same time.” Hotchner stole a quick glance at Reid when the woman spoke and saw what looked like alarm going through Reid, judging by the younger man’s facial reaction.

 

    “I’m Alexa Lis—“

 

     Both Garcia and Reid drew sharp breaths as she spoke, and Garcia interrupted her, instinctively stepping in front of Reid as though to shield him from her as she screeched,

 

    “Lisbon! I know who you are! You miserable bitch!” She moved forward as though she was going to slap Alexa but Hotch drew her back.

 

    “Get OUT! Get OUT of here!” She turned to Hotch, “Get her out of here, _now_!”

 

     Hotch touched her arm and quieted her, indicating Reid with a slight nod of his head, he whispered ‘see to him!’ then stepped forward and asked Alexa Lisbon to please leave or he’d have her thrown out.

 

    “I’m so sorry Spencer. You have no idea how sorry I am,” Alexa said calmly and quietly as she complied with Hotchner’s request that she leave.

 

    Reid slumped into the seat behind him, looking into space but staring into his past. Garcia was kneeling next to him, stroking his back, “It’s okay, it’s okay. The bitch is gone.” He nodded and put his hand over hers in a gesture of thanks.

 

    Hotchner closed the boardroom door and returned to his unit members. 

 

    “A demon from his past?” he guessed aloud in a soft voice, addressing Garcia. She nodded. He wondered but didn’t ask having enough information already to know that this was someone Reid plainly didn’t want to see again.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 9 was so short I decided to put up chapter 10 today too.

     Melissa had recovered and calmed down from her encounter with the unexpected morning visitor and spent the better part of the day shopping. She had been a single mother for so long it was still hard for her to get used to Spencer’s insistence that she have carte blanche to do things like shopping, for herself, for Anna, for all of them. She and Anna had had to watch every penny they spent back in those days and Anna had long ago learned the words ‘no’ and ‘sorry we can’t afford that’. 

 

     Melissa recalled one of several conversations she’d had with Spencer about spending. She always felt bad about spending _his_ money. He’d repeatedly corrected her, calling it _their_ money. “We’re a team now. A unit. A family. We share everything, don’t we? You share Anna with me, don’t you? I’m sharing my income with you and Anna. God, Melissa, you’ve supported and helped me so much, please don’t tell me we’re gonna fight over something as stupid as money.”

 

    And she recalled ending that argument swiftly, the same way she always seemed to quash disagreement between them. A smile stretched across her lips as she remembered that conversation and how it had ended. Rubbing her belly, it occurred to her that may even have been the night they’d conceived.

 

   “I’m not gonna fight with you, Spence.” She threw her arms up around his neck and ended any thought of further talking with a resounding kiss. He’d responded in kind and stopped just long enough to pick her up and carry her to their bed.

 

     Now, she juggled her packages as she searched through first her purse, and then her pockets for the hotel room door keycard. After a thorough search, the offending item was finally located—how did it end up inside the cellphone case anyway she wondered? —and she made her way into their room. 

 

   Almost immediately, her cellphone beeped to indicate there were messages waiting for her. She put down her shopping and looked at the phone, seeing the Wi-Fi indicator just finishing signaling reception was reconnected.

 

     “Dammit, I had data shut off?” she berated herself, hoping nothing urgent had occurred while her phone had been on vacation. The menu indicated she had four texts from Spencer, one from Garcia, one from Hotchner and an entire string of them from Anna.

 

     Pouring herself a glass of water, she sat down by the desk to read them, deciding to read them in chronological order.

 

 _Hi Mommy_ was followed by a series of little hearts and puppies as Anna was just learning to use a keyboard on the tablet she’d gotten for her birthday. _I <3 you_ was the second message from Anna. The third through ninth were more hearts and puppies and the tenth was apparently JJ intervening: _sorry about that, she was just playing around on it, hope you guys have unlimited texting on your plan! Lol!_

 

The texts from Spencer were all of the _hope your day’s going well_ , _I miss you and_ _I love you_ variety. She smiled at that. Hotchner’s text, marked at 1148am was an invitation to join them for lunch downstairs at the hotel restaurant if she was still around and available at noon. And Garcia’s text, the most recently received one time-stamped 115pm, simply said _‘He’s OK but I think U guys need 2 talk abt Alexa Lisbon_ ’

 

     She drew a sharp breath. “Oh my God,” she said aloud, along with a lot of other unmentionable words. Quickly, she texted Garcia back _wtf happened?!_

 


	11. Chapter 11

     The visit with Reid’s mother had gone well. Diana recognised him immediately and was happy to see both Spencer and Melissa again. Hints of her superior intellect and intuition were evident. She surmised immediately that she was about to become a grandmother (“Again!”) She’d not yet met Anna but had already fully embraced the child as family, and pointedly wondered why they hadn’t brought her along this time. 

 

    “Last time was your honeymoon, the child’s absence was excusable, but why isn’t she here this time?”

 

     “I’m here with part of my unit, Mom. You remember Penelope? And Agent Hotchner? We’re doing a seminar at the hotel. Hotch thought it’d be nice if I came along, and let me come see you. And I thought it’d be nice if I brought Melissa along. But we didn’t want to take Anna out of school.”

 

    The teacher in his mother agreed with this decision, “That’s very wise, Spencer.”

 

     Melissa’s heart was warmed by the prominent display of pictures in Diana’s room: Spencer; Spencer as a child; Spencer with one of his three eventual doctorates; Spencer with Melissa-their wedding photo; several photos of Melissa and Spencer with Anna. And the sight that brought her to tears, the card Anna had made which the child had sent to Diana on her birthday. It was sitting in a place of honour on her nightstand, beside a framed piece of Anna’s artwork-a drawing she’d done of the family in their new house- Spencer, Melissa with an exaggerated tummy, Anna, and Muttli the dog, inscribed- complete with spelling errors-‘to my grama luv Anna.’ 

 

     Diana’s doctor had allowed them to take her out of Bennington’s and they went to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. Over lasagna, Caesar salad, garlic bread and gelato, the three Reids spent an enjoyable evening together. After two hours, the ever-perceptive Diana pointed out that both she and the new Mrs. Reid were tiring and should probably call an end the evening. Diana was returned to Bennington’s in very high spirits and Spencer and Melissa returned to their hotel room.

 

    She was exhausted but knew there was a conversation they needed to have.

 

    “Spence, I have something I need to tell you,” she began at almost the exact moment Spencer told her,

 

     “I need to tell you about something Melissa.”

 

     They stood in joint silence for a moment, and then he took her hand and led her to the bed. He stacked the pillows up against the headboard, and then took off his shoes. Climbing onto the bed, he leaned up against the mountain of pillows and opened his arms in an invitation for her to join him. She snuggled into his arms, and Spencer spoke.

 

     “Ladies first.”

 

    She drew a deep breath and confessed. “I had a visitor earlier today, Spence. Someone came to the door and—“

 

     Melissa heard his gasp.

 

     “I dealt with it. With her.” She looked into his eyes and knew he knew what she was about to tell him, but she said it anyway. “It was Alexa Lisbon. I’m afraid I wasn’t very civil.”

 

   “Melissa,” he asked in a soft tone, ‘she didn’t hurt you, did she?”

 

    A satisfied smile stretched across her lips, “No, she didn’t. I’m afraid I can’t say the same though, Spence. I don’t know if it was just me being angry about her actually having the nerve to show up here, or if it’s pregnancy hormones or what, but,” she paused, reliving the moment.

 

     “But?”

 

     “I decked her. I called her a miserable bitch and I decked her.”

 

    He suppressed a smile, “Well that’s just not like you is it?”

 

    She shook her head no, “But the hormones. Or maybe it’s because I know what that miserable bitch did to you and she had it coming.”

 

     He hugged her and told her, “You know, I really don’t need you or Garcia to fight my battles for me.”

 

     She looked at him, “I know you don’t. You don’t need anyone to fight your battles for you now. I was just thinking of Spence the child and the fact that some twenty years later this bitch comes back looking for forgiveness. I just saw red, I’m sorry.”

 

   “Don’t be sorry, Melissa. I love that you stand up for me, I’m just saying it’s not neces—“

 

    She interrupted him the same way she always did, with a kiss that shook him to his core. He could feel his tie being loosened, his shirt being unbuttoned and pulled down off his shoulders. Her hands fell to his belt and his trousers, unbuckled and unzipped respectively. He let out a groan as her hand brushed against him and his hands came up to her shoulders and pushed her down from a sitting position. Kneeling next to her now prone body, he undid the front of her blouse and feathered kisses from her mouth down along her throat and between the swell of her breasts. He peeled the blouse from her body and drew a delighted breath when he saw what she wore beneath it.

 

    “This is new, isn’t it? A purple _distraction_ ,” he said, deliberately emphasising the word they’d used earlier in the day.”

 

    “Yes. And it’s working,” she smiled as she reached over, turned off the lamp and melted into his arms.

 


	12. Chapter 12

     “Don’t think I’ve forgotten, Spence. We both had something to tell last night, and you never got the chance because, well, I distracted you.”

 

    He took a long sip of his coffee, set the mug down on the table and confessed.

 

    “Alexa Lisbon came to our panel yesterday. Probably not long after she went to see you. And Garcia had pretty much the same reaction you did. She told her off, and wanted to deck her too, but Hotch held her off.”

 

    “Go Penelope,” Melissa said with a slight smile, pumping her fist lightly. 

 

    “I’ve never told Garcia about that incident though. The only people I’ve ever told are you and,” he paused as the realisation hit him, and sighed. “Morgan. Morgan probably told Garcia.”

 

    “It wasn’t me, Spence, I promise you that. Although it’s not so bad that Penelope knows is it?” She ran her fingers through his hair and stroked his cheek.

 

     “No, it’s not,” he conceded. It was part of what made him who he was, and it had happened as Melissa pointed out, twenty years ago. He hugged her and was off to day two of the seminar. “We’re done at noon, and then we’ll go see some sights, okay?”

 

     She nodded and rolled over in the bed, determined to go back to sleep for a while.

 

 

 

      The team members milled about Reid’s desk in the bullpen going through the newest photographs of his family Reid was sharing. Melissa with a much more advanced pregnancy belly, holding hands with Anna who had grown at least a foot since last time she’d seen her JJ opined. And Muttli, who had tripled in size in the month since he’d been at JJ’s house and was starting to exhibit adult Rottweiler traits, growing into his oversize paws and losing the cute puppy status he’d had. 

 

     “Melissa has really blossomed for someone only four months along, Spence,” JJ pointed out.

 

     “We’re going for ultrasound tomorrow afternoon. Melissa thinks she’s too big. She’s starting to worry a little,” Reid told them then realised, _I better mention this to Hotch, I won’t be here tomorrow afternoon, I wanna be at the doctor’s with Melissa._

 

     Hotch and Garcia approached them, Hotch carrying case folders, Garcia an oversize and fully stuffed manila envelope. Hotch beckoned them to the round table and the team followed him into the conference room. Garcia stood behind Hotch, letting him address the group first. He set the files down on the table, and when Reid drew him aside, he followed the younger man towards the smart board and asked in a quiet voice,

 

     “What is it, Reid?”

 

     “Melissa has an appointment for an ultrasound tomorrow afternoon Hotch, and” Reid paused for a moment and Hotch finished his sentence for him,

 

     “So you will be unavailable after lunch, that’s all right, not a problem.” Hotch clapped his shoulder and motioned for him to take a seat at the table with the others. 

 

     Standing in front of them all, Hotch announced, “We don’t actually have a pressing case at the moment, so I’d like you all to go through these files.” He tapped his hand on the stack in front of them, and then started dividing them into smaller piles, giving one pile each to JJ, Rossi and Lewis, and then the smallest pile to Reid.

 

      “Garcia, what’s that you have there?” Hotch asked her.

 


	13. Chapter 13

     “Oh, Sir. It’s um, a really official looking envelope from,” she paused to read the return address, “Slessor, Markham and Abrams. It’s a legal firm in Las Vegas. And it’s addressed to Reid, Sir.” 

 

      Hotch waved his hand in a sweeping motion which Rossi, Jareau and Lewis all interpreted as dismissal and they took their piles of case files and returned to their desks to work on them.

 

    Garcia gave the package to Hotch, who diverted it immediately to Reid. His brow furrowed as he murmured, “Why would any lawyers be sending me--?” he trailed off, truly puzzled by the correspondence.

 

    Turning the envelope over, he slid a key under the flap and tore it open, pulling out a mountain of papers stapled together in three separate batches, along with a letter sized envelope bearing his name written in feminine cursive handwriting. A cover letter sat on top of the other papers and he took these pages to read first.  

 

     _Dear Dr. Reid,_

 

_I am William Lawrence Slessor, senior partner of my legal firm Slessor, Markham and Abrams and legal representative for my client Alexa Lisbon._

 

    Reid gasped audibly as it occurred to him that perhaps Alexa had retained a lawyer with the intention of pressing charges against Melissa for the shoving and slap she’d administered five weeks ago in Las Vegas. He continued reading.

 

     _Six months ago, Ms. Lisbon contacted me with a series of requests for which she needed my legal advice and representation._

 

_I am given to understand there is some history between you and Ms. Lisbon though I remain unaware of the details of such history._

 

_Ms. Lisbon has never married and has no family other than her younger brother who is currently incarcerated in a Nevada prison and likely will be for the rest of his life; and an incapacitated sister-in-law who is a permanent resident at the Bennington’s Sanitarium in Las Vegas. Their only child, a daughter named Becky, predeceased them._

 

_I was appointed the executor of Ms. Lisbon’s estate and she has made several requests of me. The first of these requests was completed in cooperation with Ms. Lisbon’s accountant. A trust fund has been created to ensure that both the brother Kevin Lisbon and the sister in law Victoria Lisbon are provided for, for the duration of their lives. A copy of this contract is attached to keep you apprised._

 

     Reid wondered why this would be any of his business and shuffled through the papers until he found the contract to which the lawyer was referring. It apparently dealt with the Lisbon family finances, holdings and assets and income statements and Reid set it aside to continue reading the cover letter.

 

    _The second request made of me was to find you, Dr. Reid. Ms. Lisbon asked me to track you down about three months ago then contacted me five weeks past to inform me that she had determined your whereabouts herself. At this point, she made me aware of her reason for wanting to locate you. She has set up a trust account for the education of any and all children you have or will have, the details of which will be found in the second attachment enclosed with this letter._

 

     Finding the referenced document, his eyebrows rose in surprise when he read it. This would most certainly be discussed with Melissa before he’d be sending any pertinent personal information to the reputable accountants firm mentioned in the papers. _If_ he did so, he amended, wondering what Melissa’s reaction would be.

 

_Her third request was for me to organize and finance in your hometown of Las Vegas the ongoing program for bullied children. Education, help, support, intervention, whatever is needed for this growing problem. Ms. Lisbon wants the bulk of her family’s money to go towards ending bullying. She indicated that you would be knowledgeable about this particular issue and suggested making you the chief advisor for the program and has spent several weeks gathering a team of people to fulfill this commitment. She wants this legacy dedicated to you._

 

_Finally, enclosed in this mailing is a letter from Ms. Lisbon, which I was charged with delivering to you at the appointed time. It is my duty to inform you that Ms. Lisbon passed away this past Monday. She had been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour just three months ago._


	14. Chapter 14

    Reid gathered all the papers together and put them back in the manila envelope. He sat at the table in stony silence for a long moment. Garcia and Hotch joined him, sitting down on either side of the troubled looking younger man.

 

     “Reid?” Garcia ventured, touching his shoulder lightly. He looked from one to the other and indicating the papers, told them

 

     “It’s from Alexa Lisbon’s lawyer.”

 

    Hotch’s brow furrowed.

 

    “She’s dead.” Reid said in a low voice.

 

    Garcia, who’d been ready to wage war at his first statement, fell back into her chair in disbelief. They sat in mutual silence for a minute then Reid finally rose.

 

    “I need to go home. I need to talk to Melissa.”

 

    Hotch said “Of course,” in unison with Garcia’s “I’ll drive you,” part statement to Reid, part question to Hotch who nodded in accordance immediately.

 

 

    “Come with me, Anna, we’ll go get some ice cream,” Garcia invited, intending to afford Spencer and Melissa some privacy.

 

    The ride home had been relatively quiet. Garcia didn’t want to press for details though her inquisitive nature was making that very difficult for her. Reid volunteered a little information about the letter’s contents and Garcia had correctly inferred he had a few things he needed to discuss with Melissa. 

 

     Anna was more than happy to go with Aunt Penny for ice cream, and clutched Garcia’s hand tightly as they made their way back out to the car.

 

     Melissa shut the door behind them then turned and took Spencer into her arms, enveloping him in a fierce hug. He returned the hug for a long moment, kissed the top of her head, then broke it off, keeping one arm around her as he steered her into the living room and had her sit down on the sofa. He set the envelope on the coffee table.

 

    “I’m gonna go make us some tea. Melissa, I’d like you to read all that. Please,” he indicated the envelope and went into the kitchen. 

 


	15. Chapter 15

He stared out the window while he waited for the water in the kettle to come to a boil. The weather in DC today was not unlike it had been in Las Vegas that day years ago: sunny, clear, fairly warm, a perfect day for an outing in the park. Or the football field. He recalled telling Morgan that he’d tried to forget the ordeal of that day; that if he didn’t think about it, it would go away. He remembered telling Morgan how that didn’t work, back then he could recall that day like it was yesterday. Funny that in the eight years since he’d spoken of it with Morgan, Reid realised, his thoughts hadn’t been invaded by this particular memory in a long time. So infrequently he couldn’t even recall the last time it had happened before he’d seen Alexa Lisbon at the police seminar five weeks ago. 

 

     Melissa was right; he decided. As awful as that ordeal had been, it contributed to making him who he was today, as had his torture by Tobias Hankel. Hotchner acknowledged him as particularly skilled at empathy, at identifying with some unsubs. Something good had come of both these incidents. The teakettle whistled and Reid picked it up and poured water over tea bags in two mugs. He’d chosen chamomile tea, which both he and Melissa drank without the addition of milk or sugar.

 

     When he returned to the living room bearing the two tea mugs, Melissa was just putting down the bulk of the papers. The smaller envelope was still in her hand and she smiled up at him, accepting the tea mug he offered.

 

    He sat down next to her and took a long sip of his own tea. Melissa took his mug from him and set it on the table. Handing him the unopened envelope, she told him,

 

     “You need to read this, Spence.”

 

    He drew a deep breath. “What about what the lawyer said?”

 

    “The trust funds for our children?”

 

     He nodded. “Are you okay with that?”

 

    “She hurt you, Spence. Years ago. And wants to make it up to you now somehow. And obviously you’re torn by this,” Melissa began. “Read the letter, it may help make up your mind.”

 

    She squeezed his shoulder supportively as he sighed and opened the envelope. He pulled the letter out and handed it to Melissa with shaking hands.

 

    “You read it, please? Out loud,” he asked. He rested his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands and waited for Melissa to comply.

 


	16. Chapter 16

Melissa unfolded the paper, noted aloud it was dated the day after the seminar in Las Vegas, then read:

Dear Spencer. Our experiences make us who we are. And I’m ashamed to tell you that one experience that you and I shared twenty years ago has made us two very different people.

I saw you at the seminar, heard what your supervisor had to say about you and your work. I saw your lovely perceptive wife, and your supportive knowledgeable colleague. You’re a good man: smart, kind, empathetic, self-confident, reliable. You’re obviously happy, well adjusted and much loved. You’re in a fine career, and have a beautiful wife and child on the way. Congratulations, well done Spencer.

I don’t expect you to forgive me, or like me, or care what I think but I do have to write and get these thoughts out. I’m sorry, so sorry, every single day of my life that I caused you such pain, such emotional distress that day. 

I need to set the record straight, Spencer. Harper Hillman had no idea what was planned, she genuinely thought I liked you and wanted to help set us up. That was completely on me, not her. It pains me, I’m ashamed every day to admit that I used your crush on me, and her desire to be my friend to further my own designs on the captain of the football team. I got what I deserved for that too, Spencer. The football team members, every single one of them, wanted nothing to do with me after that day once my motive had become apparent. 

You don’t have to care, I don’t expect you to, but mine has not been a happy life. The repercussions of that day have followed me, shaped me, and troubled me to the end. My parents punished me when they discovered what I’d done, which I fully deserved. My brother and sister-in-law lost their only child to bullying. And karma has served me with the most appropriate retribution, taking Becky away because I had no children of my own. I’ve never found love as you apparently have. Now I have only weeks to live. And so I find myself needing to set things right where I still can. I want to do what I can to end bullying, to stop other children from being like I am—was—and to stop others from going through the sort of experience I had a hand in putting you through.

Please do not waste a second feeling sympathy or empathy for me. Save it for those you work to catch, those who deserve it. I really am a miserable bitch, and it’s because our experiences make us who we are.


	17. Epilogue

Epilogue:

 

Two evenings later, Spencer walked into the kitchen where Melissa was sitting at the table peeling potatoes for dinner. He pulled out a chair and sat next to her, and laid a couple of sheets of paper on the table in front of her. He took the knife and potato from her hands, setting them down on the table.

 

“I wrote a letter to that lawyer. I’d like you to read it, Melissa. And let me know what you think.”

 

He picked up the knife and took up peeling the potatoes. Melissa picked up the letter to read:

 

“ _Dear Mr. Slessor,_

 

_While I appreciate your diligence in your duties to your client, I am writing to respectfully decline the client’s offer to fund college educations for my children._

 

_I apologise if this decision is contrary to the wants of your client, but have discussed this at length with my wife and neither one of us is comfortable with this projected arrangement._

 

_Perhaps the funding set aside for this endeavour could be utilised instead to fund college educations for some of the bullied children serviced by the other arrangement your client indicated she wanted underwritten by her estate._

 

_Enclosed please find all the correspondence regarding these transactions returned to you herein. I would appreciate no further correspondence from your firm in this matter._

 

_Respectfully,_

_Dr. Spencer Reid.”_

 

She let out a long sigh and put her hand over Spencer’s. He made eye contact with her and she leaned over to give him a kiss.

 

“It’s okay?” he asked.

 

“It’s perfect,” she nodded.

 

“I’ll send it in the morning. And Melissa, I, uh, I _am_ over it. The whole thing with her, I mean. It was more than twenty years ago. I just don’t,” he paused, trying to find the right words, “I didn’t want it dredged up again every time we got a bank statement or something for the rest of our lives. I put that incident behind me. And I want it to stay behind,” he paused to look her in the eye. “I want to look to the future, not live in the past. Am I doing the right thing?”

 

She put her arms around his neck, running one hand through his hair.

 

“If it feels right to you, Spence, you did the right thing. Don’t ever think otherwise.”

 

He pulled her into a hug and acknowledged, “She was right about one thing though. Our experiences make us who we are.”

 

“And I love who you are.”

 

They kissed and hugged and made their way upstairs. The potatoes and Alexa Lisbon were forgotten.

 

-end-

 


End file.
